Setting Rules for Kids' First Phone: A Guide for Parents

When your child gets their first phone, how do you prevent it from taking over their lives? If your child has a smartphone, you'll likely want to set up parental controls, which can be a complicated process, and then hope your child doesn't find ways around the restrictions. If they have a dumb phone like the Zalpha Phone, their phone is ready to use right away without a difficult setup or 1,000 different options. Regardless of the phone you choose, it is crucial to establish clear rules and expectations. Ideally, you discuss these rules as soon as you give your kid a phone, but even if they already have a phone, you can still set some basic rules and expectations.

Essential Rules, Tips, & Tricks for Kids with Phones

No Phones in Bedrooms or During Sleep Time

Keeping a phone in the bedroom has been shown to reduce both the quality and quantity of sleep, especially for children (and to a lesser extent for adults as well). Bedrooms should be a space for rest and relaxation, free from the constant pings, temptation, and blue light that can disrupt sleep cycles. If your child uses their phone as an alarm clock, you can always buy a simple clock/radio as an alternative. Even if there's an emergency, kids generally don't need to have their phone handy in the middle of the night...parents can answer the emergency call.

To help create a clear boundary, establish a time before bedtime when the phone goes away. This could be 8 p.m. or 9 p.m., depending on your child’s age & schedule. At this time, the phone should be turned off or put on "do not disturb" and stored in a designated charging spot, such as the kitchen or a family room. This simple routine helps teach your child to manage their digital habits and gives them a healthy break before bed which can help improve sleep.

No Phones in Bathrooms

Beyond the hygiene concerns, preventing phone use in the bathroom can help establish clear boundaries and emphasize that phones do not have to be attached to them at the hip. If your child can't stop using their device for a few minutes when they go to the bathroom, it's likely a sign of larger problems.

No Phones During Family Activities

Designate specific times for your family to be fully present with each other. This can include mealtimes, family game nights, car rides, or any other activity you decide. The goal is to set a standard that these moments are for connecting with one another, not with a device. Setting this boundary teaches your child that some of life's most valuable moments happen face-to-face.

In-Home vs. Out-of-Home Use

Decide whether the phone is strictly for use when your child leaves the house (or is home alone) or if it's for in-home use as well. If the phone is intended strictly to arrange rides from you, then your child likely won't need it unless they're out of the house. In the house, should your child use their phone on school-nights or just on weekends? These are personal choices for each family (and there's no one size fits all solution), but giving a child a phone doesn't have to be an all or nothing decision. Younger kids may not need a phone with them all the time; you have an opportunity to create norms for your children about when they do and don't have access to a phone. Setting this expectation early can prevent future disagreements.

Setting a Good Example

When it comes to technology use, kids can sense hypocrisy. The rules you set for your child will be far more effective if you live by them yourself. If you expect them to put their phone away at the dinner table or during family activities, it will be easier to enforce if you do the same. If you are constantly checking your phone, scrolling through social media, or getting distracted by notifications, your child will see that as the norm. By modeling the healthy habits you want them to adopt, you show that these boundaries are important for everyone, not just for them.

Conclusion

The decision to give your child their first phone is a significant one. By setting clear boundaries and choosing a device that aligns with your family's values, you can ease the transition and make sure the phone doesn't take over their life. Giving a child a phone doesn't have to be an all or nothing decision. Set expectations on what behavior is unacceptable. If you want a phone that helps establish additional boundaries (no social media, no internet browser, no app store) for your child without any complicated setup, join the dumb phone movement and check out the Zalpha Phone.